Proof of my advice powers
Since this is my first posting I decided to answer a Dear Abby advice question to give everyone an idea of my brand of advice:
DEAR ABBY: After six years of marriage and a beautiful daughter, my wife, "Chanelle," demanded a separation. She said she needed time to "find herself." She forgot to mention that she was having an affair with a subordinate at work, "Earl." Eventually, Earl's wife and I found out. Chanelle lost her job, her boyfriend and her self-respect. Suddenly she wanted me back. I wasn't sure I could live with a woman who had lied and cheated on me. After a year later, Chanelle became pregnant with our son, who is due in a few months. I'm positive the baby is mine, so we decided for the children's sake to reconcile. I still can't forgive Chanelle for the affair. She used a string of lies to cover her activities, so I'm having severe trust issues. I was faithful throughout our marriage. While we were separated, I frequently lent her money and ran errands for her. At the time, she told me she hadn't been in love with me since the birth of our daughter. Now I feel used. During our separation, I made sure our daughter called Chanelle's parents every night. We spent holidays with them while Chanelle worked. Instead of thanking me for it, they insist that I drove their daughter into the arms of another man. To make things worse, my parents refuse to accept Chanelle back into the family. In all fairness, Chanelle was the last person you'd think would have an affair. She was family-oriented and had conservative values. Earl was the last person you'd imagine she'd choose. He's a chain-smoking, married redneck with a history of infidelity. Both sets of in-laws are trying to sabotage the marriage, my feelings for my wife have changed, and I now realize I never really knew Chanelle at all. Can this marriage be saved? -- SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED IN WEST VIRGINIA
This question came from http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/ on 5/12/05. Below is my answer if you want to know Abby’s answer go to Abby’s site.
Dear Shaken,
So let me see if I get all this. Your wife of 6 years wanted a separation, you found out she was having and affair (with a subordinate no less), her life then went to total shit, and she wanted you or perhaps just some “normalcy” back. You knocked her up anyway (no use crying over spilled spunk), then decided to get back together, now what do you do. I don’t know why you included all the stuff about parents. It’s all "my parents think", "her parents think", blah, blah, fucking blah.
I can explain all the parent stuff pretty easily. Were you wearing a “my wife is a whore and I’m the bigger person T-shirt” when you took the kid to Thanksgiving dinner? Maybe you didn’t have the T-shirt on but it was certainly written all over you face. Your parents took your side, her parents took her side, big surprise. Your both grown ups and nobody needs permission from mommy and daddy anymore.
Now on to your core issues. My, my, they are so complex I need to describe them with a mathematical equation:
You don’t trust your wife + You can’t forgive your wife = Divorce
Until you figure out why your wife cheated you’ll never be able to trust or forgive. You never mention any of the reasons your wife gave for cheating. Did you ask? Did she not tell? Did she tell and you not believe her? These questions are too tedious to be entertaining to anyone but you, your wife, and a professional you pay to listen to you. Oh wait and your weenie parents and in-laws don’t forget about them.
DEAR ABBY: After six years of marriage and a beautiful daughter, my wife, "Chanelle," demanded a separation. She said she needed time to "find herself." She forgot to mention that she was having an affair with a subordinate at work, "Earl." Eventually, Earl's wife and I found out. Chanelle lost her job, her boyfriend and her self-respect. Suddenly she wanted me back. I wasn't sure I could live with a woman who had lied and cheated on me. After a year later, Chanelle became pregnant with our son, who is due in a few months. I'm positive the baby is mine, so we decided for the children's sake to reconcile. I still can't forgive Chanelle for the affair. She used a string of lies to cover her activities, so I'm having severe trust issues. I was faithful throughout our marriage. While we were separated, I frequently lent her money and ran errands for her. At the time, she told me she hadn't been in love with me since the birth of our daughter. Now I feel used. During our separation, I made sure our daughter called Chanelle's parents every night. We spent holidays with them while Chanelle worked. Instead of thanking me for it, they insist that I drove their daughter into the arms of another man. To make things worse, my parents refuse to accept Chanelle back into the family. In all fairness, Chanelle was the last person you'd think would have an affair. She was family-oriented and had conservative values. Earl was the last person you'd imagine she'd choose. He's a chain-smoking, married redneck with a history of infidelity. Both sets of in-laws are trying to sabotage the marriage, my feelings for my wife have changed, and I now realize I never really knew Chanelle at all. Can this marriage be saved? -- SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED IN WEST VIRGINIA
This question came from http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/ on 5/12/05. Below is my answer if you want to know Abby’s answer go to Abby’s site.
Dear Shaken,
So let me see if I get all this. Your wife of 6 years wanted a separation, you found out she was having and affair (with a subordinate no less), her life then went to total shit, and she wanted you or perhaps just some “normalcy” back. You knocked her up anyway (no use crying over spilled spunk), then decided to get back together, now what do you do. I don’t know why you included all the stuff about parents. It’s all "my parents think", "her parents think", blah, blah, fucking blah.
I can explain all the parent stuff pretty easily. Were you wearing a “my wife is a whore and I’m the bigger person T-shirt” when you took the kid to Thanksgiving dinner? Maybe you didn’t have the T-shirt on but it was certainly written all over you face. Your parents took your side, her parents took her side, big surprise. Your both grown ups and nobody needs permission from mommy and daddy anymore.
Now on to your core issues. My, my, they are so complex I need to describe them with a mathematical equation:
You don’t trust your wife + You can’t forgive your wife = Divorce
Until you figure out why your wife cheated you’ll never be able to trust or forgive. You never mention any of the reasons your wife gave for cheating. Did you ask? Did she not tell? Did she tell and you not believe her? These questions are too tedious to be entertaining to anyone but you, your wife, and a professional you pay to listen to you. Oh wait and your weenie parents and in-laws don’t forget about them.
posted by Ask Sarah at 3:36 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home