Gettin' some at the Waffle House

Dear Ask Sarah,
I need your opinion on my situation. Some background: My boyfriend is kind, generous, loving and very well off financially. The biggest problem is that he is married (unhappily), but he is working on getting a divorce.
We met 2 years ago, and soon afterward he proposed that I get an apartment near his home so that we could get together whenever possible. I had a very good job,but he insisted that I quit so I could be available to him whenever he wanted. He was always very generous, and paid the rent and gave me ample spending money so I could always have attractive lingerie. Well, he left one year ago today to buy some condoms and never came back. He hasn't paid the rent for the last year so I've had to get a job at the Waffle House to make ends meet. I had to even go buy a new wardrobe because all I had in the closet was the lingerie.
He hasn't called so I am sure something horrible had to have happened, and I can't even try a ruse and call his wife to find out if he's ok (he never let me see where he lived because he was afraid his wife would see us). I tried looking him up in the phone book but he isn't listed. (You would think with a common name like John Doe there would be at least one, but no.)
My question to you is, when do you think it's ok to date again? One of the regular customers at the Waffle House has been asking me out, but I feel like I would be cheating on John in the event he comes back. I really need your advice fast, because the monster truck show is this weekend and I need to know what to do. (And of course the state fair is coming up, and I'm sure Jim Bob will want to take me there if we're still together.)
I feel terrible that I want to move on when John could be in real trouble out there,
but how long is a girl supposed to wait?
Thanks for your help,
Patience

Dear Patience,

All’s fair in love, war, and monster truck shows. I definitely think you should date Jim Bob. If John does sweep back into town (or get out of jail) play up indecision and you’ll have more stuff from the home shopping network than you know what to do with. My Aunt Clem always said “a girl’s gotta remember what side of the toast her bread is buttered on”.

I suggest you go with Jim Bob to the monster truck show AND the state fair. When your at the state fair point out the back end of a sheep and say “I gots me one of those” and you’ll be barefoot and pregnant in no time. Also maybe the state fair will force the sheep to wear underwear; I mean there are kids around for christ’s sake.

Sarah