Breast Feeding Etiquette For Dummies

First of all, I'd like to apoligize for my breif hiatus. It was due to a mix of too little time and not enough interesting problems. I took this question from Ask Natile.

I have a five-week-old baby. I choose to breastfeed exclusively, and I’m typically not shy about nursing her in front of other people.

Recently my husband and I hung out with two other couples and their babies (a three-month-old and a six-month-old). These babies are formula-fed, and I was told by one of the women that I needed to leave the room to feed my baby because it made the men uncomfortable.

This irked me pretty bad. I have also encountered a woman who thought it was gross to breastfeed. I think it’s ridiculous for anyone to feel this way, but I understand that some people may be bothered more by the sight of flesh than by the actual feeding process.

So the question is this: Should I be discreet for the sake of others, or should I just keep feeding my baby like I always do, since it is natural? —Millie

Dear Millie

Taking a shit is perfectly natural as well but we manage to keep this perfectly natural thing behind closed doors. I don’t think breastfeeding is gross (although I do find the thought of my body producing food a little unsettling). It makes those around you uncomfortable because Americans are uptight about nudity; at the same time boobies tend to draw the eye of those around them. So all of your friends FEEL themselves not looking at your chest and that makes them unable to focus on anything besides not looking at your chest.

Breastfeeding is perfectly natural, but the standing etiquette here is to cover up your tit in public. No, it’s not fair, and breastfeeding is beautiful and all that but in American society we don’t go around looking at each others bare breasts in public. Think of it kinda like smoking. In the past the non-smokers were considered whiny assholes if they wanted someone to go outside to smoke. It was a discomfort the nonsmokers were expected to endure. Now the etiquette is for the smoker to graciously offer to go outside and any smoker that lights up inside is a dirty asshole who is trying to give everyone cancer. Today’s etiquette is for you to excuse yourself or throw a blanket over your breast and the baby before pulling out your tit.