Oedipus Three-Way

This came from “Ask Val” of the Columbus Alive.

Dear Val,

I went on a first date with this guy. So I show up for lunch at this restaurant hoping all goes well. I get to the table and his mother is there. Yes, his mother!

It was her birthday and he wanted to take her to lunch too. So I meet his mom and have to sit through the meal with both of them.

I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. Now he wants to go out again. Do I give him another shot?

—Meeting Mom on First Date

Dear Meeting,

There is a reason this never happened on Sex and the City. Why would you blindly say yes to a second date? For all you know he’ll bring grandma around for the next one. Dating is a learning experience, and this guy needs to be taught a lesson. You’re under no obligation to spell it out for him, you could just say no to the second date. Unless of course you really, really like him and you’re under 20.

A second date would be about as wise as bringing your mother on the first date; but let’s face it, young people are horny and they do stuff like that. We’ve all been there, so I want to focus on “Meeting” not making a total doormat of herself.

If you really, really like him the best thing to do is give him a hard time about bringing his mom on your first date. When he asks you out say something like “I dunno, are ya gonna bring grandma this time?” then give a little laugh. If he replies (in similarly horrible diction) “What?! Ya got a problem with my moms?!” Then you should get the hell away from the guy, it’s never going to get better, lepers without genitals date with higher standards. But, if he replies with a sheepish laugh and an apology/excuse, you have my permission to go ahead and give the guy another chance. What the hell, it’s the holiday season.