Liberal Rebellion

I’m so excited! My first letter from internet land since a guy from Chennai, India emailed me something last March. Granted, it is from a pre-license teenager via my “myspace” account; but, I’m in no position to be snooty about it.

Dear Ms. Sarah-

I'm a 15 yo who just came out to my parents. They're ok with it, and even worse, they *like* my girlfriend! I have three more years of teenagerhood and nothing to angst over. Do you have any advice on how I can turn my life into Lifetime movie material?

Dear –

In my day, if your average white suburban teen wanted to piss off her parents she would date a black guy. I guess that means going lezzie is the date-a-black-guy of the new millennium.

Let’s pause for a moment and appreciate the progress that we’ve made.

Now we can move on to the drama. Your parents seem like liberal progressive types. That makes the biggest stitch in their side George W Bush. Let’s exploit that, shall we? You are going to have to start out slow. Buy Mary Cheney’s new book. Don’t make a big deal about it just buy it and make sure your mom sees it on your bedside table. Those poor unsuspecting parents will think you are just supporting your new peeps. Next, ask your local republican party to mail you some pamphlets. Practice working words like “terror”, and my personal favorite “evil-doer” into your everyday vocabulary. After you have gotten a few quizzical looks you can “accidentally” get caught listening to Rush Limbaugh in your room. Whenever you are craving parental confrontation there are many starters. For example you could mutter “damn liberal media” when the news is on, or make your own “teach creationism in school” petition and ask them to sign. Enjoy your rebellion!