Dykling Advice For Back To School

This came from good old Margo

DEAR MARGO:

I'm 17 and crazy in love with one of my best friends, but I know nothing will ever come of it because we are both girls and she is straight. She's always with her boyfriend, and she asks me about boys and tells me about her sexual activities.

I can't stand this anymore. I've tried so many times to forget her, in vain. I don't think I can stop seeing her because I love her and care about her, and, also, I would have to explain to my other best friend why I don't want her to hang with us. SOS.

--- 3DG

Dear 3DG,

Unrequited love and the age of 17 go together like SUVs and soccer moms. I don’t think it matters if you’re gay or straight. In the long run you’re going to have to suck it up and wait until you get your own place and/or go to college. You can’t really come out if you're living with your parents (I wouldn’t recommend it anyway), and coming out is the only way you’ll be able to admit your feelings to this girl. Admitting your feelings is probably a one way ticket to rejectionville but the “friendship” isn’t doing you any favors since you don’t really want to be her friend anyway. I know, I know, teenagers hate being told things like “wait until college” or “suck it up” but there is a bright side.

There are lots of ways for you to scratch that lesbian itch without really coming out. You could start with a nice friendly game of bisexual spin-the-bottle; chances are you’ll be able to legitimately steal a kiss. There is always the old “lets practice kissing so that we’ll be good at it” although you may be getting a bit long in the tooth for that one. Get your hands on some alcohol then you have a free pass to be gayer than a volleyball coach convention. Aren’t teenagers funny? In real life; there really is nothing that someone would do or say when drunk that they wouldn’t want to do or say sober. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, but it doesn’t make you an anti-Semite. Beyond getting to second base with this one girl, you could expand your social circle so that you aren’t the only gay person you know. I’m sure there is a 17 year old queen in the school musical just dying to exchange crush stories with you. Failing that, the internet is always a good outlet.