Even Hitler Was Great Until The Fourth Month

This letter came from “Ask the Advice Goddess”

I was planning a spa weekend with my girlfriends, and my boyfriend of four months wanted to come. I offered to plan a romantic spa getaway for just us, but he insisted I not go to the trouble; he’d simply join my girlfriends and me. I explained it was an all-girls weekend, and girls talk about different things when guys aren’t around. He just lost it. He said there shouldn't be anything I tell the girls that I couldn't tell him. He accused me of not trusting him, broke down sobbing, and stormed out. He hasn’t returned my calls since. I think he’s being ridiculous, but he’s been fantastic until now, and I don't want to lose him.

-Exfoliated

Exfoliated:

Your boyfriend wants to hang out with you and your girlfriends... in a spa? That is just plain weird even in these metrosexual times. There are only a few possible explanations. The most likely being; he is a possessive asshole who can’t stand the thought of you having fun without him.

But you’ve been together four whole months and things have been all puppydogs and sunshine. Four months isn’t very long. Granted it’s past the “well at least this person isn’t a serial killer stage (month one), but months 2-6 are when you find out all the weird stuff. It’s the stage where you start pooping at each other’s place (see earlier article on exactly when that is ok here), share embarrassing secrets ranging from a beanie baby collection to that time you had crabs, notice weird hairy moles, and find out about emotional baggage.

This guy has baggage in spades. When you made it clear you wanted to go on this trip with just your girlfriends he freaked out, went manipulative, and slammed some doors. Your right, he is being ridiculous. He has given you a pretty clear choice; if you still want to be with him, you have to give up all fun with anyone other than him. Let him go, he has a screwed up sense of what a relationship should be and you can’t change his mind. Your not that seriously invested after four months. Better to find out now than a few more months down the line.